Uncovering the Secrets of the Rube

December 16, 2011

Haven’t we all wondered how the Rube could be in several places at the same time? We are finally one step nearer to the truth…

by Louis Louisson

We all know him. Every Glitch has known him since childhood. If little Glitchens were behaving badly, their mother would say, “Be a good boy, or the Rube will come, and trade you for a piglet!”  And if some of the more skeptical children would ask how the Rube can be at the same time in several places at once, their parents would answer “because he CAN.”

When we grew older, we realized that this was, of course, a children’s story. The Rube would never take a misbehaving child in exchange for a piglet. That would have been way too smart a deal! The Rube probably would have traded a misbehaving child in exchange for a little shiny object with no intrinsic value.

But one thing we always knew for sure: There was only one Rube. The Rube.

Now, thanks to the discovery of Rubeweed Essence, a bold, daring team of scientists has shattered this knowledge to pieces. Those scientists have proven that there is more than one Rube. In fact, there are at least five of him.

This shocking news of course immediately leads to a whole set of new questions: How is it possible that everybody always thought of him as “The Rube?”  Was it maybe just a pronounciation mistake? Is his name “Therube?”   Is there a plural, like… “Therubim?”

If several Rubes exist, does that mean that there are female Rubes as well?  What do they look like? Can a normal Glitch tell a male Rube and a female Rube apart? Or is the society of Rubes organized completely different? Maybe more like insects? Is there a giant Rube Queen? A Rubette…? Sitting in her queenly cave, waiting for the Rubes to come home with everything they traded, to feed her?

The team of scientists is frantically working on these questions, and are happy for every little bit of information that could shed some light on the shadows of Rube’s life.

There is, of course, one more alternative, almost too frightening to think about: What if  ”The Rube” indeed exists, and all other Rubes are just robot doubles of him? What if, in fact, the Rube is not the bad trader as we always perceived him to be, but has actually duped us with every single of those trades that we were laughing about, not knowing that it was us all along who got the worst part of the deal? What if the Rube made so much money that he could buy all those robots to roam Ur and do the work for him, while he lies relaxed on a lounging chair, sipping a Cosma-politan?

And what if… we will never know the truth?

Scientists Louis Louisson and dr_loplop uncovering the unbelievable truth: There is more than one Rube!


Click to enlarge - photo courtesy of Louis Louisson


Science team Louis, dr_loplop, Zilije, jiva and Sare gathering up to five Rubes at the same time in Mayspeak Moar. The scientists believe that there could be even more Rubes roaming Ur.

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