How the Glitch Stole Zilloween

March 22, 2012


By AwesomeCardinal2000 (inspired by “How the Grinch Stole┬áChristmas” by Dr. Seuss)

All the Glitchen in Ur liked the holidays a lot
But I Hate Zilloween, in his cave home, did NOT!
He loved to grief players and ruin their fun
But Zilloween? That was his favorite night among!
He loved to steal pumpkins from everyone’s places.
They took all his keys away and gave him mean faces.
And now he couldn’t do it. Unfortunately,
He couldn’t follow in if he didn’t have a key!
He said, “How on Ur will I do all my scheming?”
Then he thought an idea, his evil face beaming.
“I’ll send some spam mail!” said I Hate Zilloween.
I”ll do it all with a new high-tech machine.”
He worked all the day in his small cluttered house, and
when he was finished, built the Mailer Two-Thousand.
After hammering its nails and tightening its locks,
It sent mail to everyone at around twelve o’clocks.
“Help!” it read. “Send me some pumpkins by mail.
I need it to live, for I am so frail.”
Everyone read it. Not giving a thought,
They sent him the pumpkins they’d worked for and bought!
One newbie was puzzled. “I Hate Zilloween! Hey!
Why do you want all my pumpkins today?”
He tricked the poor newbie. “I’m having a feast.

There’ll be plenty of turkey. It’ll be really beast.
If you go to a feast it will help you level up.
I’ll make Pumpkin Ale. I’ll give you a cup.”
The noob sent him pumpkins, without too much thinking.
And then I Hate Zilloween went on with hi-jinking!
He took all the pumpkins from community plots.
By the end of the day he had harvested lots.
As everyone strolled through the streets that cold night,
“Where’s all your candy?!” they asked with a fright.
“I gave all my pumpkins to some guy named I Hate.”
“So did I!” they replied. But it was too late.
“I Hate Zilloween has stolen all of our pumpkins!
Oh we do not like this. Oh no do we not-kins!”
Everyone was bummed. No jokes or a riddle.
But no one could help them. Not even a little.
Well, no one except for the Giants, who came in.
They said, “Do not worry. We know you will win.”
They erased his account and gave his pumpkins away.
The Glitchen all got candy. They yelled, “Hip Hooray!”
And that was how Zilloween was rescued that day.

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