Diary of a Tortured Soul

June 24, 2012

by MoM4.5

Diary of a Tortured Soul: Hour 1Having died while the site was down, instead of resurrecting as usual, I have returned to Ur as a ghost. Being a ghost does not seem to inhibit my ability to do glitch-y things like pet piggies and squeeze chickens. Mood loss is about the same. After running into a couple of walls, I’ve decided I don’t have cool ghostly powers. So far, I have “haunted up” a few old friends and given them a good scare. +1!

(ETA: Being naughty is actually quite thrilling. I now see the appeal it has for others.)

Diary of a Tortured Soul: Hour 16 – I’ve been pretty surprised by the feedback I’m getting during my hauntings. I guess I’m too solid looking, because some people don’t seem to understand I am a ghost. To see if there is anything I can do to improve my boo-ing skills, I’m taking snap of each one to study later for the purpose of inspiring more fear in the future. My main objective is to drive OMG BACON!! crazy — If that’s even possible, I think she is already pretty nutty – as revenge for my untimely demise.

Muwahahahahahahah *cough, cough* Need to work on my laughter from the grave.

Not even little onion is safe!

Diary of a Tortured Soul: Hour 21– Had lunch with Gwendolyn. Talk about being a moaning myrtle. All she wants to talk about is drowning. Geesh! I kept trying to switch the conversation over to who’s available to date in the Afterlife, but ‘Groaning Gwennie’ wasn’t having any of that. I understand there’s going to be some real hot times down in Hell’s Bar tonight, but I don’t want to show up without a date. That’s always so awkward.

Diary of a Tortured Soul: Hour 23 – Desperate to not show up alone at Hell’s Bar, I have agreed to go on a blind date. Fingers crossed!

Diary of a Tortured Soul: Hour 28– OMGiants, I can’t believe this. It’s the RUBE. I’m on a blind date with THE RUBE! He showed up with a fistful of wilted silvertongue (was he being suggestive? *GAG*) and is wearing the worst tie I’ve ever seen. He smells all damp and weedy. I think he may have some kind of wood rot! Ick! Ick! Ick! AND he keeps trying to impress me with his “good trades.” Ugh!

Hipster rock too hip to be haunted

Diary of a Tortured Soul: Hour 34 – Surprise, surprise! The evening turned out okay after all. I managed to slip away while The Rube was trying to trade a handful of beans for one of Groaning Gwennie’s faded hearts. I think I know how that is going to turn out! Anyway, while I was slinking along the wall, I ran into Carl Projectorinski’s Mullet! He had brought Zubes, but the place was so crowded with disgruntled rocks and half-forgotten glitches, that he lost track of her. As it turned out, CP’s Mullet and I have more in common than you would have guessed. I slipped him my number, but I’m not expecting him to call. My, my what an exciting afterlife I’m having!!

Diary of a Tortured Soul: Hour 35 – I was wrong! Just got home and CP’s Mullet called!!! We chatted for half an hour or so and he asked me out for a Mabbish Coffee! I’m feeling a bit giddy over all this!!

Diary of a Tortured Soul: Hour 55 – At the moment, I’m feeling rather faded. Spent the night drifting around petting trees and squeezing chickens. I think there was a party everywhere I went, but no one seemed to take notice of me. It was like they could see through me or something. I wasn’t interested in socializing anyway, so I hung around at OMG BACON!!’s house trying to frighten her piggies. Unfortunately, they’ve all been traumatized to such a degree that nothing I could do had any impact on them. Considered re-arranging her furniture while she was sleeping, but decided it was too much work.

Diary of a Tortured Soul: Hour 60 – Even after getting some sleep, I still feel a bit on the faded side. Something else weird, I went to sleep upstairs, but woke up in the backyard? Am I sleep-drifting? Something is definitely going on with my opacity.

Diary of a Tortured Soul: Hour 60 (update) – Sloth Knockers! I am FADING! What am I going to do? Met a frog who told me he’d seen this before and I only have 100 hours in Limbo before I become permanently dead!  He also recommended the ‘Greet the Trisor’ yoga position. It’s hard to trust a frog about these things.

Diary of a Tortured Soul: Hour 63  – Managed to catch a strong wind and floated to the Tower looking for help. Gwendolyn shook her head sadly and talked more about drowning. The Greeterbot was more helpful and suggested I find a faded heart to carry around until I figure this out. I zipped home and grabbed my faded heart out of the cabinet, but it slipped through my fingers and is now embedded in the floor. I am doomed.

Diary of a Tortured Soul: Hour 65 — Would panic, but simply don’t care enough.

Diary of a Tortured Soul: Hour 75– Thanks to scribblecat (who I must say is taking this all rather well) for loaning me her faded heart, I am more solid again. Still don’t know what I’m going to do.  Googled ‘limbo’ and found a bunch of confusing and contradictory information. My math skills are now so bad, I’m not sure how much time I have left. (ETA: What am I talking about? My math skills have always been bad!)


Diary of a Tortured Soul: Hour 80 – May have a plan to resurrect, but it is totally dependent on finding someone to give me Hell Wine.

Diary of a Tortured Soul: Hour 97 – Have obtained Hell Wine from auction. Paid WAY too much for it. Grrr. Just in case this doesn’t work or makes things worse, just wanted to say I love you all.

Diary of a Tortured Soul: Hour 98 – Whaaa….??? Whooooooooooooo?

Diary of a Tortured Soul: Hour 99 — *blank*

Post-script: Good news: I’m not dead or undead or fading away anymore! *cheers* Bad news: Mul sent me a “Dear MoM” letter saying he couldn’t see me anymore, now that I am “back in the physical world, such that it is.” Jerk.

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